10 Chinese Idioms for Parents & Parenting

Student surpasses master

Literal: Blue comes from indigo plant

Xunzi opens his chapter on learning with it: 青，取之于蓝，而青于蓝 — blue (青) is taken from (出于) the indigo plant (蓝), and is bluer than the plant. The point is the student's, not the teacher's: nothing is being criticised, and the dye is better precisely because the plant existed. Common speech runs it as 青出...

Already at a very high level of attainment

Literal: Hundred foot pole top

A verse of the Tang Chan master Changsha Jingcen, recorded in the Jingde Chuandenglu: a man at the top of a hundred-foot (百尺) pole (竿头) has attained something, but it is not yet real — he must step forward from there. Standing at the tip already looks like the end of the climb, which is exactly the ...

Gentle, nurturing influence

Literal: Spring wind and nurturing rain

This is from the Mencius, which counts among a teacher's modes the one who transforms a student as a timely rain does — the spring wind (春风) and the rain that transforms (化雨). Nothing is forced; the growth is the student's own, and the teacher supplies the conditions. It is reserved for education ra...

Things happen when ready

Literal: Melon ripe stem falls

When the melon (瓜) is ripe (熟), the stem (蒂) drops (落) of itself. The observation is agricultural and precise: a melon taken early has to be pulled, and one left to its time separates without force. The phrase is used of anything that cannot usefully be hurried — a negotiation, a diagnosis, a decisi...

Adversity is what finishes you

Literal: Works you like jade into completion

This comes from Zhang Zai's Western Inscription of the Song dynasty: 贫贱忧戚，庸玉女于成 — poverty, low station, worry and grief are the means by which you (汝) are worked like jade (玉) into completion (成). Jade is not found finished; it is cut and ground, and the phrase treats hardship as that grinding rathe...

Learn from the worthy

Literal: See worthy wish equal

Confucius in the Analects: seeing (见) a worthy man (贤), think of (思) matching him (齐) — and seeing an unworthy one, turn inward and examine yourself. The second clause is normally left off and is the sharper half, since it makes every encounter instructive regardless of who you meet. What the phrase...

Ruin through impatient intervention

Literal: Pull seedlings help growth

This comes from the Mencius. A man of Song, impatient that his seedlings (苗) were not growing (长), went through the field pulling (拔) each one upward to help (助) it along, then came home exhausted to announce what he had done; his son ran out to find every plant dead. Mencius tells it against those ...

Childhood sweethearts or friends

Literal: Green plums and bamboo horses

Li Bai's Changgan Ballad has a woman remembering her husband when both were small: he came riding a bamboo horse (竹马), and they circled the well playing with green plums (青梅). The two props are ordinary children's things and the poem is about a marriage that grew out of them. The phrase names that s...

Protect the surface, ruin the foundation

Literal: Love the fur, wear the coat inside out

Duke Wen of Wei met a man carrying hay with his fur coat turned inside out (反裘), and asked why. To protect the fur (爱毛), the man said. The duke pointed out that if the hide backing wore through, the fur would have nothing left to grow on. The phrase names that inversion — guarding the visible, valua...

Find genuine pleasure in helping others

Literal: Happy to help people

To take pleasure (乐于) in helping people (助人). The phrase is modern and has no classical source, though the idea it names is old: the fuller form 助人为乐 makes the claim explicit, that the helping is itself the reward rather than a means to one. The grammatical point is 乐于, "to find joy in" — it marks t...