8 Chinese Idioms About Forgiveness & Letting Go
Compassionate Chinese idioms about forgiveness, mercy, and the wisdom of letting go of grudges.
While revenge features in many idioms, Chinese wisdom also teaches the value of forgiveness and moving forward. These expressions capture the peace that comes from letting go.
虚怀若谷
xū huái ruò gǔStay humble and open
Literal: Empty heart like valley
Derived from Daoist philosophy, this phrase advocates maintaining an empty (虚) heart/mind (怀) like (若) a valley (谷). The valley metaphor was particularly significant in Daoist thought - like a valley that receives all waters without preference, one should remain open to all ideas without prejudice. ...
Example
The professor welcomed new ideas from his students
教授欢迎学生们提出新的想法
不卑不亢
bù bēi bù kàngMaintain perfect dignified composure
Literal: Neither humble nor proud
This balanced idiom advocates being neither (不) servile (卑) nor (不) arrogant (亢), originating from Confucian texts of the Warring States period. It first appeared in discussions of proper bearing for scholars serving in government, emphasizing dignified self-respect without overweening pride. The sp...
Example
The diplomat maintained perfect dignity when negotiating with the superpower representatives
这位外交官在与超级大国代表谈判时保持着完美的尊严
姑息养奸
gū xī yǎng jiānLeniency encourages worse behavior
Literal: Tolerate evil, nurture harm
This enabling idiom describes temporarily tolerating (姑息) problems and thereby nurturing (养) future harm (奸), originating from Han Dynasty governmental warnings. It first appeared in administrative texts cautioning against short-term appeasement of problems that would grow more serious if not proper...
Example
The principal's leniency toward bullying only emboldened the perpetrators
校长对欺凌行为的宽容只会使行为人更加胆大妄为
负荆请罪
fù jīng qǐng zuìSincerely admit fault and accept consequences
Literal: Carry thorns request punishment
The 'Records of the Grand Historian' tells how general Lin Xiangru carried thorns (负荆) while requesting punishment (请罪) to demonstrate sincere regret for insulting fellow general Lian Po. Han Dynasty writers transformed this specific incident into a broader symbol of genuine remorse backed by willin...
Example
The executive publicly apologized for the company's environmental violations
这位高管公开为公司的环境违规道歉
恻隐之心
cè yǐn zhī xīnCompassion; empathy for others
Literal: Heart of compassionate concealment
This idiom describes the heart (心) of compassion (恻隐). It comes from Mencius, who argued this feeling of pain at others' suffering is innate to all humans, proving human nature is fundamentally good. The phrase represents the instinctive sympathy that arises when witnessing others' distress. Modern ...
Example
His innate sense of compassion moved him to help the stranger.
他的恻隐之心促使他帮助陌生人。
欲擒故纵
yù qín gù zòngGive slack before tightening; let go to catch
Literal: Wishing to capture, first let go
This idiom describes wanting (欲) to capture (擒) but intentionally (故) letting go (纵). It is one of the Thirty-Six Stratagems where releasing a target creates false security before the final capture. Zhuge Liang famously used this strategy, capturing and releasing Meng Huo seven times until he surren...
Example
The detective pretended to drop the case to make the suspect lower his guard.
侦探假装放弃案件，欲擒故纵，让嫌疑人放松警惕。
坦坦荡荡
tǎn tǎn dàng dàngLive openly with clear conscience
Literal: Open and broad-minded
This idiom describes being open (坦坦) and broad (荡荡). The doubled characters emphasize the degree of openness and freedom from anxiety. It depicts someone who has nothing to hide and faces life with clear conscience. Modern usage describes people who live honestly and openly, whose transparency allow...
Example
He lived his life with nothing to hide or regret.
他活得坦坦荡荡，无愧于心。
相濡以沫
xiāng rú yǐ mòHelp each other in adversity
Literal: Moisten each other with foam
This idiom describes moistening each other (相濡) with foam (以沫). From Zhuangzi's parable of fish in a drying pond who keep each other alive by sharing their foam. Though Zhuangzi suggested freedom was better, the phrase came to represent devoted mutual support during hardship. Modern usage describes ...
Example
The elderly couple supported each other through their difficult years.
这对老夫妻在困难岁月里相濡以沫。
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